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[ Flatly, he repeats Aikuro: ] You made a wrong turn and got lost in the wilderness.

[ He draws out a pause, two seconds, three, and drops it. ] I'm... adjusting. Peacetime - of that's what we're calling this - is still uncomfortable, but there's a child in the house, now.

_{[ repeating, too: ]} I made a wrong turn and got lost in the wilderness, yes.

There's a child?
_{[ fake shocked tone. ]}
Whatever are you going to do, Tsumugu?

[ @ god why is his bff so weird ] The same thing I've been doing. Avoid violating her privacy and trying not to boil in this heat.

Ayuzawa is a lot less trouble than the other teenagers I know. [ or you, honestly. ]

_{[ listen ur the one hanging out with him.
Aikuro smiles, looking at Tsumugu with a fond sort of look. ]}

Tell me about her. Did you end up with a cute wife?
_{[ because if so: lucky you. ]}

Ayuzawa spends a lot of time thinking about schoolwork. She can't cook, but she volunteered to do some of the cleaning, so it works out well enough.

My... wife is... [ Fucking weird. ]

Odd. [ Icily: ] And... young. If I had to say, I'd put her on the side of 'cute'.

[ And because it still doesn't make sense to him, the king of paranoia, he's gonna say it. ] She sleeps outside in our yard.

Edited (THERE WERE TWO PARTS TO THIS TAG WTF DW) 2015-09-03 03:46 (UTC)

_{[ ...APPALLED?????? ]}
Tsumugu!

That's abuse! What are you doing letting her sleep outside? Like, you know, man. Get her inside and cuddle up with her like a real spouse!
_{[ hard to tell if he's taking this fake marriage thing seriously or if he's just being an ass. ]}

I told her there weren't any traps or bugs in the house and she refused to move back in. [ HE'S NOT AN ANIMAL!!! ~~she is though, apparently.~~ ]

Even if she moved into the house, there would be no cuddling up. [ That's gross. ]

_{[ omg look at that angry face. ]}
Women can be stubborn sometimes! You have to like.. lure them in with things like white wine and roses.. or those little fuzzy socks that they can wear around the house.. for their benefit!

Buy her like a big teddy to cuddle up with if she doesn't accept you. _{[ cause he thinks this might be the problem first instead of him not taking a liking to her. ]}

Edited 2015-09-10 02:46 (UTC)

[ lbr it looks like every other face he makes ]

You make it sound like I'm luring in a feral cat. She's been living outside since before I moved in - I offered her the bedroom, but she wasn't interested.

It's not as if we don't get along. [ Weird? But true. ]

_{[ he sees that grumpy frown though. IT IS GRUMPIER THAN USUAL. ]}
Well. You know, sometimes women can be like that. _{[ what a gross man. ]}

_{[ then he says something and Aikuro arches an eyebrow. ]}
Are you sure? As a good friend, I'm being honest wit you— you are not the most charming creature.

You're disgusting. [ how do you get dates??? ]

[ a bark of laughter: ] You're not wrong. But Lulu's a... strange girl. [ read: strange even for us, and we fight clothes. ] I'm not that inept.

I... hope it all works out for the best then.
You and your daughter and your girl.

At least she is a woman that enjoys the outdoors.
_{[ yep ]}

I'll let you know if I get her to move in. At least she's not harvesting honey directly from bees any more.

[ mostly??? probably. either way, he eyes aikuro. ] And what about you? Have you been looking after any children? [ look, he's being nice and not even bringing up the dating thing! ]

_{[ honey.. from bees... ok.. ]}

... Oh! I have a _{[ quote marks ]} son. I had another one for awhile, but I guess he went home.
Rei is very intelligent and enjoys science.. he just has a few problems.
_{[ problems. Yeah. ]}

[ ~ b e a r s ~ ]

Rei... the one who runs the Cafe. [ not that he spoke to him BUT IT'S HARD TO FORGET THE RECRUITING POST... ] ...problems?

[ even problems wonder sensei can't solve?? ]

_{[ Aikuro leans into Tsumugu and whispers: ]}

I had to deal with his gay crisis.
_{[ back up we got a badass over here. ]}

Those kind of problems.
_{[ yeah, problems wonder sensei had issues with. ]}

I... see.

[ sage nodding.

then, with remarkable aplomb: ] Better you than me. [ which is true. ]

—You wouldn't know the first thing of what to do.
_{[ You wouldn't. ]}

In fact, you would come to me with your crisis about your fake son's gay crisis and I'd have to fix everything.

I wouldn't have the foggiest.

[ admitting his flaws... has he grown up?? ] You are a high school teacher. Dealing with teenagers is technically in your job description. [ his job description goes more along the lines of 'beat the crap out of teenagers'. ]

Besides... what else is a commanding officer for, if not taking control of dicey situations?

Yeah, that's wonderful. If you come across any gay crises, just send them to me.
I'm sure that will be plenty of them. _{[ especially in this town. ]}

You gotta learn how to handle this someday, Tsumugu. You gotta.
_{[ you gotta. ]}

[ too real. ]

When the time comes to handle a gay crisis, I'll give handling it a shot. Will that satisfy you?

Only if you complete the mission with success. I can't have you confusing my students any more than they are already confused.

The next bi-curious child that approaches me, I am sending them to you.
_{[ says the guy that is banging two people at once, you know.
you gotta do this and not disappoint him, Tsumugu. ]}

Edited 2015-10-26 20:24 (UTC)

[ do you really get that many kids questioning their sexuality coming to you, aikuro. how is this your life, you don't even teach sex ed.

with mockingly grave seriousness: ] Mission accepted, then.

_{[ this is gay sports hell and he's their teacher?
it's happened a few times. ]}

You're a brave man.

It's one of my good points.

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strippingsensei - 2015-11-06 15:29 (UTC) - Expand

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i lost this.......

u found me

i did.

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